I heard growing up and even today still use the phrase “when you know better, you do better” and I wholeheartedly believe that when you know what it is that you want in life, you get fully in the flow of going after and getting it! You’re focused. Committed and undistracted. You’ve accepted life for what it is and was and have made the decision to make life what you want it to be. You begin to live the life you love – like you should!
I know it sounds cliché. Successful and simply bright people have told me this. My mom and dad taught me this, but when I was living a life of excuses, I would simply write this common-sense advice off as the blahzay-blahzay that people say when they want you to pay for their services or just the stuff people say to make you feel good. I thank GOD for the day that I felt like I had lost it all and was crying my eyes out about my life. I was crying the ugly cry and pretty much called my mom to talk me off the ledge. She thought I had just lost my mind but like all great moms, she listened, told me to stop crying, and got me together real quick. Even though things were going well in my life, I personally wasn’t fulfilled, my confidence was wavering and I was feeling like a robot, just going through the motions. I had a great job, a business, an investment property, a home, was blessed with family and friends, yet I was low-key feeling like I was losing. HOW is that? people asked. I had what most people dream of. I had what I prayed for. I was comfortable, and practically coasting through life (although my life wasn’t perfect by a long shot and news flash, it still isn’t!!), yet I felt like what I was waking up and repeating every day just wasn’t enough.
It may sound selfish but hear me out. I’m a grateful person and I thank God every day for every being, thing, and opportunity in my life, but back then, I felt lost. Like somewhere down my path, I stopped engaging in areas that were truly impactful and I found that I wasn’t doing the things I was passionate about. I was jumping at phone calls, emails, always responding to requests from people, going where they wanted me to go with them, and doing things that I thought I had to do, but Lord knows I didn’t always want to. I was showing up for the world but I wasn’t really showing up for ME. Not to mention I had a ton of bills and my business wasn’t as successful as I was hoping it would be. I was constantly on the go and felt like every day, there were withdrawals instead of deposits in my life. My most fulfilling role, however, was and still remains, motherhood. No matter what my days looked like, my four beautiful children loving and relying on me, was all the joy, reminder, and kick in the butt that I needed.
I did some soul searching. The question kept popping in my head, well what is it? What’s wrong, what’s missing? Since you know what you don’t like, what DO you like? What do you want to do? What are you passionate about? I had to literally go through a series of challenging questions to myself; I even enlisted others to get to the heart of what I was truly wanting in life. I finally got CLARITY! I also accepted that all of my 30+ years of experiences, struggles, bumps, successes, bruises, and aha moments were all a part of the process that got me to that glorious moment. Everything that I had gone through was necessary. Then it clicked and was clear as the day that I realized that it was ME, I had to get back to ME, unapologetically ME. Not the version that others wanted, or saw in me, but the real me, and I had the power to regroup and reset ME. Everything that I needed, was already within. I just had to change my mindset, and decide. I had gotten back to the basics.
Getting clear on what I wanted out of life helped me to start living more intentionally, changing my thought process, my habits, and my circle. I re-established boundaries, focused more on what mattered and I started to go deeper – thinking deeper and living deeper, into my greater and fuller self. My point is this. You and only you can change your life. No one will do the work for you. There are people who will help you, support, encourage, and cheer you on though.
If there’s something burning within that keeps you up thinking at night or constantly wondering, “what if”, that’s that thing you should pursue! I’m not talking about a person. I’m talking about passion. I’m talking about your DESTINY! You can push yourself, one day at a time to a life flowing in greatness and intentions that you set for yourself. I hope you will.
If you need a coach or an accountability partner to help you get back to you, connect with me!
Peace & Blessings ~